Conversation Archive #1:

I do not ask people permission to put these up here. Then again, I don't put up something unless it's funny and harmless. Names are often omitted, spelling errors are not.

[MSKing] *peeks in brain and sees that it is empty*

[Firebyrd] LOL

[MSKing] *sighs* I wonder if brain matter can be like fish.
I'll just give someone money and they'll restock my pond.

[MSKing] I'll walk around frequently and actually go out into daylight.

[Firebyrd] *gasps* And you won't melt?

[MSKing] Nooo
I'll wear lots of garlic butter.

I'm pretending to be a cat. I do that.

[Firebyrd] *claps* good cat

[MSKing] No cat treat?
Hmph.
Last time I perform for you.

[Firebyrd] LOL
*gives the cat a piece of ham*

[MSKing] *pounce*
*eating noises*

[Firebyrd] happy now?

[MSKing] Stomach happy
Head still not patted.
Ears...
not scratched.

[Firebyrd] *scratches the cat's ears*

[MSKing] *purrs*
Good human.

Yeah, I'm pretty shameless when in cat mode. I don't know why people humor me.

[Friend] ;p *pokes you* Dance! Or I tickle!

[MSKing] Just you try it. I'll stab you with my three-day old pickle!
*waves pickle*

[Friend] *bites your pickle* Ha!

[MSKing] *gasps* That was my weapon you just ate!

[Friend] *Goes and washes his teeth... Then uses lots of mouth wash

[MSKing] Teach you to eat other people's weapons.

[Firebyrd] okay, now the question is, why can't I connect to my own mud?

[MSKing] Because life is cruel and then some squirrel tries to fill your toilet with nuts.

[Firebyrd] LOL

[MSKing] And I end up feeling sorry for you and the squirrel.
I'd feel sorry for the toilet, but they really don't mind that sort of thing

[MSKing] Get some napkins.

[Sister] But my hands are in my pockets!

[Sister] How old was he?

[Mother] Oh, in his twenties.

[Sister] Did he have a ring?

She was joking, btw. Otherwise, we'd've put her out of her misery.

Firebyrd was going to the zoo...

[MSKing] Pet the tiger for me.
*evil laughter*

[Firebyrd] gee, I feel loved

[MSKing] I don't let just anyone pet the tiger for me, so yes.

[Mom] MSKing, you were right!

[MSKing] Oh, my god! I'm not surprised at all!

Regarding cheap Burger King cheesecake:

[MSKing] It's an atrocity!
But I'll have a bite.

[MSKing] I'm the warped one.

[Friend] no contest

[MSKing] Thank you. *bows*

[Friend] I thought you'd appreciate that

[MSKing] *evil grin*

[Friend] but that's how we like you

[MSKing] I'm good with bacon too.

[Friend] over easy? sunny side up?
wait, what am I thinking? Scrambled!!

[MSKing] You got it!

[Mom] Who is the sexiest man?

[MSKing] Me.

[Mom] Man.

[MSKing] Me.

[Mom] Okay...

[MSKing] You will be assim--annihlated.
erg annihilated.

[Future Husband] never

[MSKing] Resistance is amusing.
Please resist.
Your screams will be added to our collection.

[Future Husband] *cataputs twinkies*

[MSKing] You call that resistance?
*gulps*

[Future Husband] yup

[MSKing] We will squash you...
after you run out of twinkies.

[Dad] You shouldn't look at your father that way.

[MSKing] I wouldn't have to if he'd act smarter.

Fun with transformations:

[MSKing] *turns into a mouse and bites your finger*

[Future Husband] *turns into a cat and eats you*
ick indigestion... *takes some antacid tablits*
*puts an official x-men bandage on his finger and a bit of whatever that stingy stuff is*

[MSKing] *turns into a tapeworm* Sucker.

[Future Husband] *turns into a rubber bag full of acid* hehe who's the sucker now?
*begins to melt* I guess me

[MSKing] Yup.